All of which makes me anxious

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:28:43 GMT

alrighty folks. I want a list of songs which are stolen in whole or in part from classic rock songs, and the songs they're stolen from. Ganster Paradise by Coolio, for example, is stolen from Pasttime Paradise by Stevie Wonder. And Weird Al Yankovic then spoofed the former as Amish Paradise. Stop the Rock by Apollo 440's opener is stolen from Caroline by the Status Quo. And the Rolling Stones made a song called The Last Time which was covered by the Andrew Oldham Orchestra, which recording provided the main part of Bittersweet Symphony. I'm sure there are many more examples like this, and I'd like you lot to rake your music collections for examples. Go!

Sun, 23 May 2004 22:45:57 GMT

"You son of a mother!"

"You ugly son of an ugly, son of an ugly, ugly...ugly!"

"Poof and twice! I may admire his manly physique if I wish."

"bum to you."

I'm not gay, by the way.

I am, however, occasionally far too weird. Which is annoying.

I GOT MY PERIOD!!!!

Nobody appreciates my jokes.

OH WAIT THAT'S HAEMMORHOIDS.

honestly. so insensetive some people.

MY COCK IS THE LAW

You'd think they'd think before they spoke.

WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK

I'm glad I'm too dignified for any of that.

Sat, 08 May 2004 11:33:35 GMT

Hokay, I've totally not updated this thing for an aaaaage, but yeah. The foot's getting better, I'm sure you'll be glad to know :D

And today's been kind of uneventful on the jobhunt front :) I looked into a bookshop but they told me you need to really multitask, which isn't my greatest strong point. But I asked for an interview anyway. Wish me luck!

I wish I owned a tank.

Sat, 10 Apr 2004 02:00:00 GMT

...So I went to the doctor about my foot and his proposed solution is that I stick my foot in a bucket of hot water for an hour a day.

And mostly I think 'ow'. And occasionally I add 'bugger.'

Ah well.

In other news, Lisa rang.

In other other news, I don't exist.

In other other other news, go and stick an egg up your nose.

I love to do stuff.

What's up?

P.S. I hate you all, especially you.

Tue, 06 Apr 2004 11:56:04 GMT

Living alone has its suck-ass moments.

In fact, most moments spent living alone are pretty suck-ass, but it's particularly bad when you drop a frying pan on your foot. And nobody responds when you blaspheme wildy. Ah well. Never mind.
Now I've got a bruise which goes along the entire width of my foot, and scalded toes. And a mess of bacon all over the kitchen floor. And I had to bandage the thing up myself. Damn, this is actually real painful
I'm typing this with my foot on the table, stretched out in front of me. Ooch. Ow. Oooh. The bandage, it's gone all brown and red.

Also today I tried to cook bacon, added a few more people on LJ, and limped a great deal.

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 12:13:51 GMT

Hey all, this is my first post here, so what's up? My name's Robert, and I generally regard myself as a little bit annoying.

Here's a little bit about myself, I hope it makes you laugh:

Rum and Monkey says I'm a generally unfuckwitted, conservative, tight as fuck, seizure-inducingly boring spod!
What are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I'm an incredibly handsome sportsman with muscles of steel and huge wads of cash. I have to burn lust crazed supermodels off of me with huge cigars.

I'm a big fan of daemonic possession and flagellation. Non-religiously, I find humour in funny-looking English teachers and the moons of Jupiter. My favourite foods are ten-year old sweetbreads and cheeses of the Orient

I like football, tennis, badminton, swimming and various other sports like archery and fencing. My favourite music is crazy stuff that no-one's ever heard of, and I like to kidnap/shoot the odd celebrity.

Have you ever noticed how the news is always filled with misery?
'man found hanged by nostrils filled with bacon'.
'incompetent politician accidentally starts nuclear war with Belgium'.
'foolish mortal crushed by demon'.
Why can't they broadcast something happy for once?

I think it's all a conspiracy to make us create crazy conspiracy theories. Which leaves one very creepy question:
What's the flipping point?
When I put this question to a local politician, his immediate response was 'he's asking questions! Crush him!!'
So I zapped him with my mind rays. (I never said that. I never said that. You are feeling sleepy.)
And then I asked another politician, why can't we all just get along?
And his immediate response was: 'oh. Do you know, I hadn't thought of that.'

I hope all of this makes you laugh :)

"You are quite mad, aren't you?"
"I think the real question is, 'is this a lemon?'"
"Is what a lemon?"
"I think the answer's in the question."
"I think the answer's in your head."
"You are quite mad, aren't you?"
"Yes."

Look! I have a vocabbularrie! I mean, a vocabulllarrry. I mean, I have a cabulivory. I mean, a thingy. That's right, I have a thingy. And a big one, too!

And so it goes on. I'm a bit crazy. Add me if you like, I promise I'll update in the future :)